I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
