I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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