Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
