There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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