in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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