I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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