oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
