My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
