he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
