Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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