Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize