i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
40s are totally the cure
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
