Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
