Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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