but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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