i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am available for nakedness
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
