I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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