i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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