I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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