no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
