Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
