Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
