There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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