The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
