it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
