she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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