me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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