like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
