i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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