the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
