Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
