HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The uberlube is also flammable
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
