I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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