so that wasnt chicken after all
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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