awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
