Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
