he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
