He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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