So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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