Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
