we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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