literally had 100 drinks last night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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