I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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