my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So much rum. So many feels.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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