Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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