literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
