new low.... made out with someone while peeing
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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