I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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