We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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