You can't motorboat a personality
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
