Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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